I never used to be able to journal. The very idea of journaling brought out reactions in my head like, 'What? I'm supposed to write something without planning the whole thing first?' and 'Write what I'm thinking... ok... How is that supposed to work? That would mean thinking about what I'm thinking! Do I even know what I'm thinking?' In case you hadn't noticed, I like writing from a plan. Which is why you are reading a blog post about journaling. Anyway, journaling never really worked for me, and I tried. It was pathetic.
But then, this August, I had a lot of stuff that I was thinking about. A lot. I needed some outlet for my thoughts, and talking through them was not my idea of a good outlet ;), so I tried journaling. And it worked! I just kinda dumped my thoughts on the paper and it took so much to keep my pencil going at the same pace as my mind that I didn't have time to plan it out. And since then, I've been able to journal. Well, sort of. It's easy if I have something to write about (a.k.a. I still prefer to have a plan), so I often let my thoughts boil for a while and then dump them. It can be kind of uncomfortable, especially if I'm really bothered about what I'm thinking about, but once I'm done, God gives me so much peace about whatever it is. Sometimes it takes a few different 'journaling sessions', but writing out my thoughts helps me stop thinking about whatever's bothering me.
From my experience, I could come to the conclusion that journaling is only easy for the people with big problems to write about or the people who make a big deal out of their little problems. But actually, I think that the people who journal easily are those who are willing to admit their thoughts, albeit only to themselves and God. There is something about journaling, at least for me, that makes your thoughts concrete. They're 'real' once they're written down. Sometimes that's great, and incredibly helpful for clarifying what I really think. But sometimes it's almost scary. If I write something in my journal, that means I've been thinking about it, and it's probably been boiling there for a short time. But what if I don't want to think about it? It's easier to ignore something if you don't accept its existence. And pushing a thought out of the way takes less work than taking the time to journal about it. Maybe I have some strange idea that if I don't journal it, it's not really that big of a deal and I'll just forget about it.
Who am I kidding? I've already seen that journaling helps. Now that I've figured out how to do it, I enjoy it. I guess it's the same old thing of not wanting to share what I'm feeling, even with myself. (Sorry, bunny trail, but I just had a sudden thought of making Aubrinn journal... *mischievous grin*). I know talking about my feelings and opinions is never something I enjoy, but writing them isn't usually as much of a problem. Journaling is just too much like talking to myself, I suppose.
I don't really have a conclusion for this. I (amazingly) didn't have a full plan for this post before I started it. I knew I was going to write about journaling, but I just figured I'd start and let it come to something deeper if it did. I guess it worked. At least I learned something from it, if no one else did!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Pride and Thanksgiving
Deuteronomy 8:11-14
'Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws, and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and when all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.'
How easy it is to forget where everything we have came from! We do live in a land of plenty. But how often do we give God the glory for even the ability to have something we like for lunch? I know I myself often take it all for granted. I enjoy the pleasures and ease of my life, but I don't want to forget God. I don't want my heart to become proud!
In my quiet time this morning, I read Daniel chapter 4. I (obviously) don't have room (or time) to write the whole chapter here, but I'll give you a summary. Basically, King Nebuchadnezzar has a disturbing dream about a tree that gets chopped down and a messenger that proclaims the doom of the tree. Daniel interprets the dream for the king, and tells him that it is a prophecy about what is to come. He says God has declared that Nebuchadnezzar will lose his sanity and live like a cow for seven periods of time because of his pride. Daniel warns the king to abandon his pride in his accomplishments in hopes that the punishment will be removed, but Nebuchadnezzar obviously does not. Here's verses 29-30: "Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, he said, 'Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?'" His 'silver and gold increase[d] and all he ha[d was] multiplied' and his 'heart [became] proud.' He took the credit for the splendor and glory of Babylon.
And so, the prophecy came true. As soon as this happened, King Nebuchadnezzar's sanity left him and he was driven out to the wilderness where he lived like a cow for seven periods of time, until his hair was like eagles' feathers and his nails like birds' claws. Then, finally, he remembered God. Listen to what happened (verses 34-36): "At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?' At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before." When he remembered God, his sanity was restored, as was his kingdom. He learned a valuable lesson about what happens when you forget to thank God for what you have!
As we approach Thanksgiving this week, I want to make an effort to remember God and all He has blessed me with. I'll probably forget. It happens every day. But, as Nebuchadnezzar says as he concludes Daniel four, "those who walk in pride he is able to humble." I might not be able to humble myself, but God will humble me. I hope He will help me to humble myself, though, since I'd rather stay human. Living like a cow sounds much less enjoyable than remembering God's blessings!
'Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws, and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and when all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.'
How easy it is to forget where everything we have came from! We do live in a land of plenty. But how often do we give God the glory for even the ability to have something we like for lunch? I know I myself often take it all for granted. I enjoy the pleasures and ease of my life, but I don't want to forget God. I don't want my heart to become proud!
In my quiet time this morning, I read Daniel chapter 4. I (obviously) don't have room (or time) to write the whole chapter here, but I'll give you a summary. Basically, King Nebuchadnezzar has a disturbing dream about a tree that gets chopped down and a messenger that proclaims the doom of the tree. Daniel interprets the dream for the king, and tells him that it is a prophecy about what is to come. He says God has declared that Nebuchadnezzar will lose his sanity and live like a cow for seven periods of time because of his pride. Daniel warns the king to abandon his pride in his accomplishments in hopes that the punishment will be removed, but Nebuchadnezzar obviously does not. Here's verses 29-30: "Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, he said, 'Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?'" His 'silver and gold increase[d] and all he ha[d was] multiplied' and his 'heart [became] proud.' He took the credit for the splendor and glory of Babylon.
And so, the prophecy came true. As soon as this happened, King Nebuchadnezzar's sanity left him and he was driven out to the wilderness where he lived like a cow for seven periods of time, until his hair was like eagles' feathers and his nails like birds' claws. Then, finally, he remembered God. Listen to what happened (verses 34-36): "At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?' At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before." When he remembered God, his sanity was restored, as was his kingdom. He learned a valuable lesson about what happens when you forget to thank God for what you have!
As we approach Thanksgiving this week, I want to make an effort to remember God and all He has blessed me with. I'll probably forget. It happens every day. But, as Nebuchadnezzar says as he concludes Daniel four, "those who walk in pride he is able to humble." I might not be able to humble myself, but God will humble me. I hope He will help me to humble myself, though, since I'd rather stay human. Living like a cow sounds much less enjoyable than remembering God's blessings!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Telling Me to Write
Me: I love writing stories!
Myself: Then why don't you write more often?
Me: Well, I just don't have much time...
Myself: Hmph, yeah right! You don't have much time?
Me: What? Between school and other activities, I really don't have a lot of time!
Myself: Sure.... but you still manage to have plenty of time on the computer, don't you?
Me: I guess so. But, well, I just need a break after all that hard brain work I do in school.
Myself: Oh, is that it? I was thinking you might just be putting off writing because it sounds hard and you know it will be.
Me: Ok, so that's part of it too. I just never know if I'm going to have any ideas and I don't want to waste time just sitting there thinking.
Myself: So wasting time mindlessly browsing the internet is better? You amaze me. I've heard you complain about having too many ideas and now you say you don't have any?!
Me: I don't like to start so many stories at once. What if I never finish them?
Myself: Are you worried about them taking up space or something? Write! Even if you can't even read it later, it's good practice to put your thoughts on paper! You don't have to finish something for it to be beneficial, you know.
Me: Yeah, I know... I just wish I had more time.
Myself: Did you hear anything I just said?!
If you made it all the way through that, you've seen a part of the inside of my head. A daily argument between Me and Myself. A confusing problem. I truly love stories and love writing them, yet I never seem to get around to it. Why don't just make myself sit there and write at least something? I'm not really sure. I'm probably lazy. I probably waste my time on other things.
I'd like to change that. To change my habits. This past week my sister and I participated in an electronic media fast for our Worldview class. I didn't feel like I'd learned much from it until we talked about it in class yesterday. (I know this doesn't seem at all related. Just wait, it's coming.) None of us in the class spend excessive amounts of time on media, but we realized that the time you spend or the content you take in is not the only problem. You see, I discovered that I can't just stop using media, I have to make an effort to actually do something worth doing with my extra time. It made me think, what else could I be doing with the time I spend on media? Want to guess what Myself told Me I could do? Write!!
So now I'm going to be carrying around a notebook. Anytime I have a few minutes that aren't filled up and I don't want to start something big because I know I only have a few minutes, I'll pull out my notebook and write something. If I have longer periods of time, I'll go down to my room and work on my novel. At least, that's what I want to do. It'll still take some work. Myself will have to convince Me every day for awhile, I'm guessing. I'm praying every day for God's help to make myself do what I should be doing! I'm also thanking God for the friends He gave me who have similar interests in writing who can hold me accountable :). And I'm thankful that He forgives me when I waste the time He gave me and gives me another whole day every morning to try again.
~Savanna
Myself: Then why don't you write more often?
Me: Well, I just don't have much time...
Myself: Hmph, yeah right! You don't have much time?
Me: What? Between school and other activities, I really don't have a lot of time!
Myself: Sure.... but you still manage to have plenty of time on the computer, don't you?
Me: I guess so. But, well, I just need a break after all that hard brain work I do in school.
Myself: Oh, is that it? I was thinking you might just be putting off writing because it sounds hard and you know it will be.
Me: Ok, so that's part of it too. I just never know if I'm going to have any ideas and I don't want to waste time just sitting there thinking.
Myself: So wasting time mindlessly browsing the internet is better? You amaze me. I've heard you complain about having too many ideas and now you say you don't have any?!
Me: I don't like to start so many stories at once. What if I never finish them?
Myself: Are you worried about them taking up space or something? Write! Even if you can't even read it later, it's good practice to put your thoughts on paper! You don't have to finish something for it to be beneficial, you know.
Me: Yeah, I know... I just wish I had more time.
Myself: Did you hear anything I just said?!
If you made it all the way through that, you've seen a part of the inside of my head. A daily argument between Me and Myself. A confusing problem. I truly love stories and love writing them, yet I never seem to get around to it. Why don't just make myself sit there and write at least something? I'm not really sure. I'm probably lazy. I probably waste my time on other things.
I'd like to change that. To change my habits. This past week my sister and I participated in an electronic media fast for our Worldview class. I didn't feel like I'd learned much from it until we talked about it in class yesterday. (I know this doesn't seem at all related. Just wait, it's coming.) None of us in the class spend excessive amounts of time on media, but we realized that the time you spend or the content you take in is not the only problem. You see, I discovered that I can't just stop using media, I have to make an effort to actually do something worth doing with my extra time. It made me think, what else could I be doing with the time I spend on media? Want to guess what Myself told Me I could do? Write!!
So now I'm going to be carrying around a notebook. Anytime I have a few minutes that aren't filled up and I don't want to start something big because I know I only have a few minutes, I'll pull out my notebook and write something. If I have longer periods of time, I'll go down to my room and work on my novel. At least, that's what I want to do. It'll still take some work. Myself will have to convince Me every day for awhile, I'm guessing. I'm praying every day for God's help to make myself do what I should be doing! I'm also thanking God for the friends He gave me who have similar interests in writing who can hold me accountable :). And I'm thankful that He forgives me when I waste the time He gave me and gives me another whole day every morning to try again.
~Savanna
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